WEAN TODDLER FROM PACIFIER IN 8 STEPS

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Pacifiers have many benefits for babies, but at a certain point it is no longer beneficial and is actually harmful to your child’s development.  How do you know when and how to wean your toddler from the pacifier?  Keep reading to see the best methods.

What are the benefits of using a pacifier?

– Can quickly soothe your baby, getting them to stop crying or to relax enough to fall asleep

– Reduces the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

– It can help your baby to be more calm and comfortable on airplanes since it helps their ears to adjust to the pressure changes when they make the sucking motion (similar to how it does for adults when we chew gum during takeoff or landing for the same reason)

When should you introduce the pacifier?

If you are breastfeeding it is important to wait until breastfeeding is established before introducing a pacifier (about 3-4 weeks).  Make sure that it isn’t the first resort whenever your baby becomes upset.  You want to make sure that your baby can learn other methods of soothing themselves and also that they don’t become too reliant on the pacifier.  This will help make it easier to eventually wean them off of the pacifier when they are toddlers.

Why do I need to wean my toddler from the pacifier?

While there are many benefits to pacifiers during the baby years, once your baby starts to enter their toddler years, the use of a pacifier could negatively impact their development.

Here are 5 reasons your toddler needs to be weaned from the pacifier:

1. As your child’s teeth start to come in, the use of a pacifier can affect their teeth and the shape of their mouth, causing a severe overbite and can make the child require braces and other orthodontia later on.
2. Your child can become too dependent on it (similar to a security blanket) which can inhibit their own ability to learn to self-soothe or cope with stressful situations
3. Your child could rely too much on a pacifier in order to fall asleep which could form some bad sleep habits that can negatively impact their relationship to sleep later in life.
4. The use of a pacifier for too long can delay the child’s language development.  (Obviously a child will speak and communicate less if they always have a pacifier in their mouth).  This can also put them at a social disadvantage since they don’t become as confident in their ability to converse with other people.
5. Not only can it delay their speech, but the constant use of a pacifier locks the mouth in an unnatural position which can make it difficult for them to develop the required strength in their lips and tongue in order to properly make certain sounds (such as having a lisp when trying to pronounce “s” or “z” sounds)

How do I know when to wean my child off the pacifier?

Experts say that you should start limiting pacifier use around 18 months and try to fully eliminate pacifier use between 2-4 years old. Some children lose interest in their pacifier and wean themselves eventually but I was not so lucky for either of my children.

Some people do it cold turkey and say their child was over it after 3 long and painful days.  But some others take a more gradual approach for everyone’s sanity and also find that if the child has a very stong need to suck, they will find a way to do it even after the pacifier is removed; by sucking on their thumb for instance which you can’t control as easily.

The child’s age isn’t the only timing to consider.  Think if there are any stressors that may be happening currently or in the near future:

• starting daycare
• Moving
• arrival of a new sibling
• the loss of a family member or pet
• Teething
• The child being sick at all

While the goal is for your child to be able to self-soothe, you need to start small and manageable so when a more serious stressor occurs they are better equipped to handle it.  If a stressfull scenario is currently at play then you should consider waiting a couple months.

How do I wean my toddler from the pacifier?

We had a younger little baby that needed to sleep (as did we) so we couldn’t afford to have round the clock crying for days at a time.  With these 8 steps I was able to use a gradual approach and my kids were both off the pacifier around 2 ½ years old!

1. Positive reinforcement:

   This is more powerful than negative reinforcement.  You need incentive, motivation and rewards for the child rather than fear of punishment.  Say things like “WOW, I’m so proud of you!” or :”You are such a big kid now!” will make them feel very special and more likely to continue this positive behavior.  You can create a chart or calendar for them to track on and every day they go without a pacifier they earn a sticker or a point which can eventually add up to some kind of larger treat or reward.

2. Distraction

   Similar to how someone may mindlessly bite their nails when they are bored, a child could treat sucking on a pacifier the same way.  Keep your child’s hand busy with toys and crafts and keep their attention on something engaging.

3. Slow Destruction:

   Poke very tiny holes in the pacifier.  This makes the suction less effective.  The key here is to be gradual with how you do it and make sure it is just a hole the size of a pin.  Start with just 1 hole and the following week poke another hole etc, adding a new hole each week.  Do not cut the tip off or anything which is totally obvious but can also damage the pacifier in a way that can be dangerous as they can swallow a small piece that falls off.]

4. Other methods to soothe:

   Work with your child to show them other ways of calming down.  Controlling their breathing, counting, etc.  I like to explain to my children that certain things are inevitable (vocab word for her!!) meaning they eventually will happen no matter what and we need to prepare for that and find ways to cope and deal with times like that.

5. Baby steps:

   Start by limiting the pacifier use for naps and sleep and for special circumstances like an airplane or a restaurant.

6. Replacement:

   Help your child to choose a new object to use in place of the pacifier for comfort.

7. Stay Strong!:

   Don’t let the crying and the whining and the fits sway you.  Once you stand your ground you need to stand firm and show that you mean business.  It feels terrible in the moment but eventually your child will realize that no amount of crying and whining will change things.  They will quickly realize a better way to get what they want or get your attention.

8. Stay consistent:

   Make sure that anyone else who takes care of your child (grandparents, partner, nanny, babysitter etc.) all understand that the pacifier is going away.  They need to know the techniques that are being used so that they can implement them as well.  Eventually your child will realize that not only will the whining and crying not work on you, but it won’t work on anyone else either.  They will come to accept that the pacifier is gone and that they need to find new ways of coping without it.

Follow these steps and you will wean your toddler from the pacifier!  Just remember that this is temporary and this too shall pass.  This is all for your child’s benefit (and the rest of the family’s benefit) in the long run.  When they throw tantrums you can empathize with how upset they are but DON’T GIVE IN.  Soon enough pacifiers will be a thing of the past and all these tantrums will be a distant memory.